Gifted, Normal, or Handicapped??!!

Like many homeschool moms, I am a part of several online homeschooling groups.  We all share ideas that work and ask for help when things aren't working.  Some advice is great (which I frequently save in my head to use later, whether or not I have had the same problems) and some advice is exactly the opposite of what should be done.  When I have the inclination, I put in my "two cents," but frequently I just read what has been said and keep my comments to myself. 

Sometimes, though, something in a question or comment catches my attention and sticks with me. There is one phrase which I see very often and it is much worse than fingernails on a chalkboard (sorry, that reference is not for the younger generation of moms - fingernails on a white board just don't have the same effect. I mean it is extremely irritating.).  Every time I read this particular phrase, my teeth grit and I feel myself getting irate at a person I don't know and will probably never meet.  In the past two days, I have counted at least 6 times this one group of words has been in posts from moms who are either a few months into their first year homeschooling or those who are seriously considering homeschooling. Sometimes it is part of the question, sometimes this phrase is part of the information building up to the question, but my irritation (and sometimes outright anger) is still there. 

I am referring to a very proud parent talking about their child as one "who was tested by the school and found to be gifted."  They then ask for curriculum recommendations for this special child. 

Now, I have pause to say that every child is special.  I honestly am not discounting that.  Actually, every child was uniquely created for a special purpose by the one and only living God.  That makes every child infinitely valuable.  So please realize I am addressing this post to academic performance, not to the child himself.  Having said that, however, I will continue my rant.

Parents who say their child is "gifted" do not understand the reason why schools give these tests, nor do they understand what these tests entail or why the school gives them.  As a teacher in public schools for 12 years, I gave this test many, many times and saw which students were identified as "gifted," and I also saw how these children compared academically with other children.

The gifted test was given at some point to every child in the district where I worked.  They tried to give it to everyone in (I think) 1st grade, but if a child transferred from another district, or if they changed the test slightly, I had to give the test in another grade. 

The test is simply identifying patterns.  There are not many directions given before the test, basically telling the children to find the best match. I had a child who was in 4th grade and didn't even know all of his alphabet score as "gifted."  I've had children who truly were gifted score within normal range. It is simply a test. That is all.  I would look down the list every year (at least the years we were able to see the list) and it was like someone randomly selected a certain number of students. 

Let me tell you a couple of case studies.  I had one student who was tested "gifted," and he actually performed well on other academic tests. He could read on a 12th grade level in 5th grade. This child had almost straight Cs for grades because he did not apply himself in any way.  He was more interested in playing than in reading. He did his work too quickly to be accurate.  He did not care to "re-do" assignments and used his incredible gift for math to figure out how many he could miss and still get the grade which he felt was acceptable. This very talented boy either dropped out of high school or was expelled permanently in high school (I've forgotten which).  In any case, I do not think he finished.  Another student who scored very poorly on this test and was very low academically in elementary school.  He was unkempt and would rather stare blankly at the wall than attempt any assignment, no matter the academic level.  He worked hard as he got older and graduated with his class, getting himself out of the "special" classes and into "regular" classes with his hard work.  He was joining the military, the last time I spoke to him. 

Based on my experiences, I would say the "gifted and talented" test has no real correlation to academic success at all.  Don't give me Einstein - there should have been some pattern in the results if the test were valid, which there wasn't, so it isn't.  Don't give me the "he is bored" speech, either. I had some fabulous experiments and projects and still had students come to me in the middle of them and say, "I'm bored. Are we done yet?"  Student curiosity is what has been lost, not the fact that there aren't enough pictures in their AP History textbook.  I hate to burst your bubble, parents of "gifted and talented" children, but it was never real in the first place.  The real gifted and talented children use inquiry skills to discover things they are interested in, not just memorize facts which they spew back on a multiple choice annual state test.

So, why give the "gifted and talented" test at all? 

Money, of course.  The school districts get additional funds for every student classified as "gifted." The stated purpose was to get assistance to the gifted children for enrichment purposes, but most of the time the money never made it to any program identified as gifted.  Usually a reading specialist or a teacher in one of the arts classes was given the money and told to get something for the gifted students.  The years teachers were given more money for supplies, we all got things which could be used by the entire class, not just the "gifted" students.  When a gifted program was started, they usually just pulled the students out of the classroom during instruction time to play games, so when the child returned, he either had to figure out for himself how to do the work or the teacher had to teach a special lesson for that person, which is very difficult to find time for.  Most of my students just asked if they were required to go, then added that they preferred to remain in the classroom.

Another reason this phrase of a parent wanting special work for their "gifted" child bothers me is that homeschooling IS a gifted program.  You, as the mom, get to teach your child in an almost ideal teaching situation.  My daughter, who is academically delayed, has highly THRIVED in an environment where she is the only student.  My daughter gets the full attention of the teacher (or half of my attention, when I have another student here).  She can ask anything she does not understand and get immediate feedback.  She gets the opportunity to discuss what she has learned.  If she discovers something she wants to research further, she does it. You can't do that in a classroom of 27 students!  Homeschool IS a gifted program.

Yet, most of these moms who are "crowing" about their child's "giftedness" are also looking for a curriculum that they, as the mom and teacher, do not need to be involved with.  That, I do NOT understand. I ask moms occasionally what their child is studying in Science or Social Studies, and most of the time the mom doesn't know.  THAT, I do not understand. You want to pull your child out of a classroom WITH a full-time teacher (good, bad, or otherwise) and put them in a situation where they have NO assistance with their learning??  You take away any opportunity for your child to share what he is learning, and therefore removing a vital component to the learning process. Really??!! 

I know what schools mean by a "gifted and talented" student.  It means in 1st grade, he could randomly select squares that the test designers said held a pattern.  Even the truly "gifted" student needs a teacher sometimes. The real question to me is: What do these moms mean by a "gifted and talented" child?  I don't think even they know.

What curriculum will help a gifted child?

Any curriculum which encourages self-discovery, discussion of academics, and presentations of revelations found by the student will develop a gifted child. Yes develop them.  These three elements encourage a depth of thinking which most pre-made curriculum cannot provide.  This is why I LOVE the style of education called "A Thomas Jefferson Education," based on a book by that name by Oliver Van de Mille. Their website is:  http://www.tjed.org/ .  I love their website for resources and ideas for the teaching parent. 

It's really not that hard to encourage your child to think. Get rid of the worksheets and have your child come up with both the problems and the answers himself.  Don't give a worksheet of 25 x 73.  Instead, tell your child to make up 10 story problems where he is solving two-digit by two-digit multiplication problems. Then he has to solve the problem. That sounds very simple, but it's really a great test to see if he understands the problems. 

Get a list of questions designed for Blooms Taxonomy.  Let him pick one question to answer out of each "step."  You as the parent thinks he will pick the easiest problems.  You can't. The problems are stepped in depth of thought and understanding. My students learned more from creating a booklet with 6 pages (each page answering one question from Blooms) than they ever got with a pre-designed multiple choice test. If they didn't read (or understand) the material, they couldn't do the work.  It was just that simple. If they read it but didn't really care about it, by the time they finished the 6 questions, they had learned a lot.

Make your child think, research, and discuss academics. Put "Captain Underpants" and "Harry Potter" away (yes, I did say Harry Potter.  More pages doesn't mean the child is becoming a better reader).  Have your child research things in the real world around them or that they are reading about.  Develop curiosity and encourage the child to experiment. Believe it or not, they were designed to explore, and they end up loving studies on actual events and existing objects or creatures.  Take field trips regularly, even going back to the same museum many times in the same year.  Personal experiences are necessary for a well-rounded understanding of a topic.

Then, once your child has learned, let him discuss with someone who has similar experiences or who has researched the same topic.  Mentors in the Thomas Jefferson program cannot just be lazy teachers and pull out a teachers manual.  If a public school teacher had no idea what a child in his class were learning about, he would be fired (okay, not really, but parents would be upset - it's harder than that to fire a unionized teacher).  Why do some homeschool moms think they are exempted from involvement because their child was "tested to be gifted by the school"?  If you aren't letting your child tell you what he learned at least once a day, then he isn't learning it.

A child will be what you expect him to be.  If you expect your child to be successful, he eventually will be.  If you expect your child to struggle, he will.  Forget the labels of "gifted" or "better than the other children" (that phrase HORRIFIES me!! but I also hear it a lot).  Let your child be a child and not worry about being compared to other children. If he is interested in quantum physics in 6th grade, let him study it.  He will probably satisfy his curiosity and spend his junior year in high school studying the dietary habits of earthworms, or some such thing. Help him to learn and develop a depth of thinking which is missing in most school rooms today, as well as a curiosity to learn about the world around him. Even a developmentally-delayed child will become successful if she is given the right encouragement.

Don't tie your child down to be "better than others."  Let him soar in his own space and enjoy the heights and depths that only real education provides.

A Line That was Drawn, by Hugh Estlinbaum

While my daughter is still too young to read many of the books which I am recommending, I want to know what direction I want her to go in the future.  She is a fourth grader this year and we are reading classical literature.  Because of her abilities, we are reading a re-written, easier version of them, but we are still reading them.  As she gets older, if she wants to read the full versions, I will not stop her, but I want the Middle School and High School years of schooling to be focused on learning real things, not someone’s imagination (no matter how creative or realistic that imagination may be).  So, I am sharing some of the books which I intend on reading with her as she gets older.

 

A Line that was Drawn was a book written by Hugh Estlinbaum.  Hugh’s sister Lorie was one of my two best friends in High School.  We lost touch for many years, but we now meet periodically for Chai Tea at Panera Bread and catch up on the big and small events in life. When I think of Hugh, I think of a 9 year old little boy who would enjoy sticking his nose into whatever game we were playing. His sister, as most teenager sisters would do, would quickly send him off doing something else. 

I was getting ready for work one morning in 2009, the television blaring the morning news in the background, when I heard the name Estlinbaum.  Since it is not a common name, I perked up and walked into the room with the television. That was when I heard about Hugh’s son, Tony.  The Swine Flu (H1N1, as it later was called) was a new virus at the time and many people were dying quickly from it.  I said many prayers for Tony through this time and e-mailed his sister Lorie, who I had recently reconnected with, for updates on Tony’s condition.  I was teaching a 5^th grade class at church on Sundays and I put Tony’s name on the prayer list that first Sunday.  One of the boys immediately said, “Tony? He’s on my football team.  I didn’t know he was sick.” 

 Tony Estlinbaum, Hugh’s son, was one of the first hospitalized cases of the H1N1 virus.  He almost died many times in the months he was hospitalized.  Unlike others who caught the virus, Tony had no pre-existing conditions.  He was a healthy 10 year old who came home from his first football game with a headache.  Fortunately, his parents recognized that something was very wrong and took him to a trusted Oklahoma City hospital emergency room before it was too late, but the hospital had difficulty caring for him. Only an experimental procedure saved his life. 

 

A Line that was Drawn was written by the father of an extremely ill son only a few months after Tony went home from the hospital.  You can see the shock of a parent finding out his otherwise healthy oldest son may not survive the night.  He takes you through the continued prayers of his family and why he decided to go public by calling in a local news organization.   As time passes and his son’s condition continues for months to be critical, Hugh and his wife must balance being at his son’s bedside and spending time with his healthy children who were not allowed into the ICU.  His family and faith grew stronger as the very life of his child was beyond the control of Hugh and the highly skilled doctors caring for him.

 This is a book which I highly recommend for parents, but I wouldn’t recommend children read it before High School years.  There is no bad language in it or any situations which Middle Schoolers should not read, but the content is very intense at times. I suggest having a box of tissues nearby when you read the chapters where Tony was at his most critical.  Even though this book was written months after Tony came home, it’s easy to see how difficult it was for a parent to describe the near death experience of his child.  One reason Hugh wrote this book was to help other parents to see how important immediate medical care was. Had they waited any longer than they did, there is no doubt that Tony would not have made it.

A Line That was Drawn by Hugh Estlinbaum

New Beginnings

Our third year of homeschool is barely a week in session and I already LOVE, LOVE, LOVE our new style!

After spending a lot of time (and blog space) last year researching Classical Education, I knew that was the direction I wanted to go. The book I was reading, “A Thomas Jefferson Education,” is awesome, but the recommendations are more for middle and high school students.  Yes, they do have a list in one of the appendices of books to read for elementary ages, but it just didn’t seem to fit our family.  Since my daughter is starting 4^th grade, though, I wanted to have some type of plan.  (I don’t like “winging it” - for me, that means we would probably not have much schoolwork.)  My daughter’s interests are the same as many 4^th graders, even though her low IQ and other special needs means she is not able to do the same work, which presented a unique challenge. Since Babygirl does not read on level, and gets frustrated if she has to read anything for an extended time, I knew I wanted most of this school year to be built around reading, but I didn’t want it to be just random books we picked up from the library.  Most series books that she could read may be entertaining, but I was not very excited about building an entire year of education on “Junie B. Jones” books.  They’re good to read and have some moral to them, but there still isn’t much depth.

A little more than a year ago, a friend of mine was cleaning out some things in her house and came across a set of “Treasury of Illustrated Classics” books.  She gave them to me – more than 20 classic books that were simplified for younger readers. They gave me the perfect foundation to build our plans for building a great school year.  They are written for younger children, but they keep much of the depth of character and morals, as well as some of the dilemmas, that the classic characters face.  They are also entertaining, able to keep my daughter’s interest.  To get my daughter excited about them, I let her pick out the order we would read the books.

Another problem is that in the Classical Education tradition, books should be read in a limited amount of time. In fact, in the “Thomas Jefferson” book, it suggests finishing one book per week.  I knew that would not happen. These books usually have about 150 – 200 pages each, way too much for Babygirl to read (or even listen to me read) per week.  So, I extended it to one book per 2 weeks. 

Since our homeschool is arranged in 10 sessions of 4 weeks of school, 1 week off, that means 2 books per session or 20 books per school year.  Was it possible for us to read that many books this school year? Would I be pushing her too hard, only frustrating both of us?

To add to the dilemma, the Classical method is to read, write, and discuss the books you are reading.  Discussing our reading is very simple for us, so I knew that would not be a problem.  If we divided up the reading, where she would read some and I would read a lot, I knew we could probably get through the book.  But – writing??? That is another of her big issues. Writing does not come easy at all for Babygirl.  In fact, it is very daunting for her – okay, terrifying would be a better word.  She has come a long way in the 2 years we’ve had to homeschool.  She now draws every chance she gets (I now have to hide copy paper when I buy a new ream or I may find it scattered over the room with one dragon on each page).  That is such an improvement, but letter formation is still hard for her.  How could we “write” this year?  I know we need to, but I don’t want to overwhelm her, which can happen very easily.  (Look back at my first year posts to see how difficult she is to work with when she is overwhelmed)

I decided to journal, which is the main method recommended by the “Thomas Jefferson Education” book. I also decided that we would keep the notebook nearby when we were reading our classical novels and we would write down “interesting vocabulary words” and important events from each chapter.  If nothing else, we would write a sentence summary of each chapter.  I also decided that I would start writing the journal, letting Babygirl tell me what to write.

Wow!  On chapter 2 of the first book, she was grabbing the pencil out of my hand so she could write the vocabulary words.  I am still writing the summaries or any important events, but she now writes all interesting words in the journal.  We talk about what each word means.  Two or three times per week, we read back over what we wrote about the book, letting us summarize the story and remind us what has happened.  Babygirl LOVES the new style!  She is ready for school and she keeps up well with the stories. Right now, she reads the first page of each chapter (usually about ½ to ¾ of a page), then I read the remaining 4 – 6 pages of each chapter.  She is already asking to read more than that one page, but since we are reading 4 – 5 chapters per day, I think she would get tired of reading too quickly.  Maybe next session I will add a little more for her to read aloud.

Yes, we do other subjects as well, and we are still trying to take 1 field trip per week and one trip to the library once every 2 weeks.  Last week, we went to the Oklahoma History Center, across from the state capitol building, since we are studying our state in Social Studies.  This week, the temperatures are dropping to the 90s for highs, so we will start going to the Zoo again a couple of times per month.  In Science, we’re studying about the human body.  Zoo trips this year will let us compare the different types of animal bodies. This session we’re studying skin, including the sense of touch and hygene, so she can focus on differences between the animal skins. We do a lot of discussion, videos, and research on the internet for these subjects.  Math is still very difficult for her, so we’re taking it slow, making sure she understands basic concepts before we move on.  We are also focusing on the “fruits of the Spirit” this year, taking one “fruit” per month.  This month is Love.

Read, write, and discuss is a style which I think will be fabulous for us. Letting classics be the center of our school day (we spend about 45 minutes or an hour daily on reading), she recognizes the value of reading herself. My hope is that by the end of the year, I can let her read independently and then we can discuss it and I can read what she wrote in her journal, but we are nowhere close to doing that yet.  It is still the first time we have had such a successful first week that I am afraid to get overexcited, but I am!  I hope your child's year begins just as wonderfully as ours!

How do you Homeschool?

            As a homeschooling mother, I frequently find myself explaining to other parents that we do not attend certain other schools in the area – we homeschool.  This usually comes up as the parent is complaining about issues with their schools – teachers losing a child’s paper and then berating the child instead of accepting responsibility, teachers accusing high-ability children of cheating, state tests which cover too much material to study in one semester, 2 – 3 hours of homework nightly for 2^nd graders, bullying by students or teachers – the list goes on and on.  However, when I suggest that the parent “could always homeschool, if public school is a problem,” then I get blank stares.  I’m certainly no genius, so there must be some “trick” to it.  How do you homeschool?

            Looking at our success, even though I have a child who has special needs, I am amazed when I hear parents of children with no health or emotional issues say that they could never homeschool their children.  I have many more problems than they will ever face (thankfully!  I love my daughter, but it is difficult working with a child who needs more than the usual attention), yet I am able to do it.  Even with a child without the difficulties my daughter has, I would recommend starting the way we started – slow.  If your child has ever been in public school, s/he will need time to “de-school” – to get out of the school-mode. 

            When you homeschool, you shouldn’t just carry home what they are doing in public school – your focus should be to teach your child what they need to be able to be a successful adult.  They need to read, write, solve basic problems, and think for themselves.  Researchers are now saying in 10 years the number one career has not even been invented yet.  That means our kids need to know how to adapt and learn new things.  Keep that in mind when you decide the plans for your homeschool.  Flexibility is the key.

            The first two weeks of every public school year starts with the teacher teaching procedures – how life will be in a particular classroom.  In your homeschool, begin with 2 goals - go to the library once a week (later, it can be changed to every other week, but you should plan on going at LEAST 2 times per month) and take a field trip once per week.  The rest of the time, allow your child to direct himself or herself.

            For most children who have been in public school, directing their own actions and interests will be very difficult!  It will not take long before they are coming to you, as though you are the social director on a cruise ship, asking what they can do. “I’m bored,” will probably be a phrase you will hear a lot these first two weeks.  My suggestion is to create a “Job Jar” and fill it up with slips of paper with various chores.  Every time they come to you for suggestions, direct them to the Job Jar (give yourself permission to be a "broken record").  Remember – you are establishing habits that will continue as long as you homeschool.  You DON’T want them to come to you for the rest of their lives every time they are bored!  They will either start to love doing chores (yeah for you!) or they will learn to think for themselves – something they cannot learn in school with 20 – 35 students in every classroom.

            At the library, give your child some guidelines of what to check out and then give them freedom of choice.  For example, my daughter is allowed to check out 5 items, but no more than 2 of them can be videos.  Yes, I allow her to check out videos.  At the beginning, I also checked some videos out, and all of mine were the educational kind that looked interesting as well as educational (including “How to Draw” videos and lots of non-fiction videos designed for children).  She very quickly started checking out these videos for her 2 choices, so I changed and started checking out one entertaining video so she didn’t feel like she had to if she wanted one for fun.  The rest of her items to check out are books.  If there are particular books for school we need, I check those out.  She is freely able to choose the books she likes.  This encourages her to enjoy reading, and it has been one of the best things we have done.  She now loves to read or to have me read to her (I used to read to my students who had no special needs, and I fully support anyone who reads to their children, even as older teens).  Read, write about it (journaling or writing an essay), then discuss it.  Even if that is all we do during the day, I know we have progressed.  When we began to homeschool, she had no interest in books.  Now, she loves them!

            Field trips are vital to any educational program, and the fact that schools are cutting back field trips show how out of touch they are with documented research.  We now have 2 family passes to area attractions – the zoo and a local science museum.  If we cannot go anywhere else during the week, we go to one of these two places.  At the beginning, there were days when I could not get her to sit down (all kids have these days).  On those days, we stopped fighting and took extra field trips. Those who don’t understand how kids learn say that we are just playing on these weeks with extra trips, however, playing IS how children learn, particularly children under the age of 12.  Not only has my daughter learned about our city’s local heritage, but she has also learned about many things from various museums in the area.

            So, what do you do with the rest of your time?  Assign chores (a necessary life-skill), then let them have time to explore their surroundings.  This includes reading, playing with their toys in their rooms, playing outside, riding bicycles, talking to friends, and so on.  Play board games with your children. 

         Conversation and experiences are the most important things you can build in these early days – and later on, too!  Computer time is good as long as it is an educational activity and time is limited.  The brain needs to make connections, but those connections are limited if the format is digital.  You want to allow your child to explore topics that he or she is interested in and to learn to do things he or she finds valuable to learn, and you will find yourself buying “toys” that are more educational, and your kids will find themselves looking forward to playing with those more than others.   This will encourage your child to love learning.

            Finally, keep lessons short.  If your child’s attention span is wandering, take a break.  Even better, look at what your child is supposed to learn and find another method to learn it.  Pencil-and-paper work should only be done after a child has learned a particular skill, not at the beginning.  Check on the internet or in books at the library for other methods to teach a particular skill.  Let your child help you look – they need to see you learning as an adult, too!  Even the most distractable kid can focus if they know they only have to do it for a short period of time, so pay attention and stop if they are mentally done.

            Go to the library, go on field trips, and discuss everything you do. This is the basic formula for a successful homeschool that will help your child become a productive, self-assured adult.  Stress does not mean a child is learning, but success does.  Remember, you CAN teach your child, if you only decide you want to!

Homeschooling a Child with Special Needs

            Having a child with special needs has been a very eye-opening experience, to say the least.  Deciding to homeschool her, however, has been a learning experience for both of us, and I think I have learned more than she has!  The most important lesson I’ve learned is that it can be done, and in spite of the challenges, it is one of the best decisions we have made for our daughter!

            Sometimes when people ask me what is “wrong” with my daughter, I want to just say one thing – CP, ADHD, etc., and be done in one quick word or phrase.  The fact is, though, Babygirl has many issues that she is facing, and there are different times when doctors are addressing different issues.  Her Cerebral Palsy is mild, and now we are not doing much to address it.  Her severe ADHD is an on-going problem, as she basically cannot function if she does not have her medication.  (NOTE:  I was a public school teacher for 12 years – I know ADHD and its effect on kids.  Hers is definitely severe, at the very least).  Babygirl’s ADHD specialist referred her for an IQ test.  I used to pride myself on being able to guess (within about 5 points) what a child’s IQ score would be – Babygirl was 20 points below my lowest guess, barely keeping her in the classification of “MMR” (mildly mentally handicapped).  Her scoliosis is our latest problem.  There may also be an issue with her eye muscles, but that is still being evaluated…Hmmm.. I think that’s all the issues I can remember now.

            With so many health issues, I sometimes feel guilty that there are days (or weeks sometimes) when we have so many doctor’s visits, or visits to specialists or other groups for therapy, that we can barely do any school work!  While the orthopedist has been watching her spine for 2 years, between February – August of this year, the curve of her spine went from 13% (near normal) to almost 20%!  At 22%, he wanted to discuss putting her in a back brace!  In an attempt to avoid the back brace and, possibly later, surgery, we are going to a certified reflexologist for the “Raindrop” treatment once per week and a chiropractor three days per week.  Neither is proven to help, but I feel like we’re doing more than wait until it’s time for a back brace, and it has helped some with her because after 4 months, her spine's curve has not gotten worse.  Plus the monthly, every-other-month, and annual doctor visits to several other doctors.  Plus a therapeutic horseback riding center she visits twice per month.  Plus a produce coop which I run of my house that takes up one day every 2 weeks of my time, not necessarily hers.  (Though she is limited on how much work she will do independently, so I can’t just assign her work while I’m busy).  When did we ever have time for school???!!

            With all these appointments and interruptions in our days, would she be better off in public school, since we don’t spend all day, 5 days per week doing pencil and paper work?  This question has bothered me some, but when I take the time to consider the alternatives, the answer is always “Absolutely NOT!”   If she were in public school, then either I would have to take her out of school for the doctor visits, which would upset the teacher and cause both the teacher and my daughter to do extra work, or Babygirl would not get to go to the doctor & chiropractor visits as often, so she would not get the treatments she needs.  Since I view these medical visits as necessary, cancelling the appointments would not be an option, so she would still be missing a lot of instruction.  Besides, Babygirl does not learn from paper-and-pencil work, anyway.  Homeschooling gives us the flexibility to go to doctor’s appointments and do activities that allow my daughter to learn reading, writing, and arithmetic, as well as help her learn life-skills which she will need beyond “book learning.”

            So once I figured out that traditional school-work does not help my daughter, in fact it only causes her frustration, I had to look for other ways to “do school.”  I want her to read daily, do some type of math daily, and when possible, write.  Once these things are done, I can feel confident that we have “done school” for the day.  Even with my daughter’s disabilities which make understanding difficult, I have found that discussion is very helpful for her.  Everything we do, I plan on spending 2 – 3 times the original activities’ length of time in discussion.   For example, if it takes us 5 minutes to read a book, we plan on discussing the book for at least 15 minutes (sometimes more, sometimes less – that’s just an average time).  If we are practicing addition facts, I will plan about 5 – 10 minutes of work, and about 5 – 10 minutes of “guided practice” before the assignment and 20 minutes afterward to discuss anything which she had problems with, whether it is writing the numbers, moving the objects to count, or memorizing the facts.   Science and social studies come from either the books we read or experiences from local sites.  Writing assignments vary from handwriting practice to journaling to organizing her thoughts using the 4-square technique.

            Do I try to keep up with public schools?  No.  I make a loose guide at the beginning of the year, assigning a topic to study every month for each subject, but I do NOT make any attempt to “keep up” with what public schools are doing.  If Babygirl were in public school again, she would be in a separate class which would not teach what other classes were learning, anyway.  My goal is to teach her what she needs to learn for life.  That includes reading, an understanding of basic math, and writing skills.  She needs to know what is happening currently, as well as the history of this area where we live.  We see how our surroundings work (science), and read books and do experiments to find out what she does not already know.  All of it involves a great deal of discussion, frequently in the car or the waiting room of a doctor’s office.  If she is interested in a topic, I will find a helpful site on the internet and create a link for her so she can explore it on her own (who knows how many times she watched the video of a platypus swimming!!  But other kids are amazed how she can tell you all about this bizarre creature).  Because of our success, many people don’t immediately know that she has any special needs, which makes me very happy.

            Babygirl has blossomed in ways she never would have if she had been allowed to stay in public school.  I have nothing against her teachers – they were doing the best that they could.  However, I am her Mom, and I am the one who understands her better than any of the school teachers.  I am looking at the whole person, not just academics.  Keeping her at home doesn’t mean that I am the only one to meet her needs – it just means I need to coordinate her getting services she needs.  I am able to make connections with specialists, as well as explore the latest research on her health issues so that I can help her grow to be the most productive person she can be as an adult.  She can learn her limits as well as her strengths, and that gives her a much better chance at future happiness than she would ever have being stuck in a classroom all day, being reminded that she is different from other kids.  If you are not homeschooling your child with special needs, I encourage you to check into it.  It can be frustrating, but the rewards are innumerable for both you and your child!